She's going to fall in love with a man like you one day and not know why... But I will...

One of the best film lines I've heard in a very long time. Probably contextual, but very poignant at the time.

Good Film.

There is a season [turn, turn, turn]

...There's this weird dichotomy in my brain right now.

Half of it is in a really good mood, in spite of the FRIGID temperatures and the snow on the ground [or maybe part because of that? credit where credit is due!] and taking down the Christmas decorations. I know that I always have a pre-determined amount of melancholy that goes along with this weekend, the weekend that is officially the end of the holidays and the beginning of the unknown. Yet, it seems kind of manageable. I'm sort of okay with it. There are a lot of good things pulling me forward, things to look forward to, indeed.

But...

The other half of the brain? It sucks. I MISS people and that missing feels like a gaping hole, just this incredible ache. I've felt it before, certainly, but I've always been able to get past it. I've always been able to say to myself that time moves so very, very fast and before I even know it, trees will be donning new suits of clothes, green and tender and fresh. The sun will shine and provide heat as well as light. I will again get to indulge in the connections that reach beyond friendship to something more, that mean so much to me. For some reason though, it's extremely difficult to get past it right now. Maybe the pace has simply slowed enough that it's all hitting... I'm given the time now to look back, evaluate where I was and where I am now.

Maybe...

Seasons change and so will I...
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven...
On this I should focus.

Edit: Wow, my coffee is going ice-cold within five minutes of pouring. BRR!

A testament to The Boss and Eddie...

Eddie's ver. of My City of Ruins has been the only one worthwhile in comparison to other 'tributes' ... and it ROCKED!!!!

Oh Man.

Either I am way out of practise and have become a total beverage light-weight, OR, this shit packs quite a wallop.

Damn!

To all of YOU who are absolutely what I am most thankful for this year.

Happiest of turkeys, tofurkeys, Rockettes, football, music, travel, FRIENDS... or whatever you fancy the most...

<3

Vancouver was absolutely perfect in its imperfection. The best sort of mid-stream pause for a tour that is bringing me more than I ever hoped it could. For now, no more words, just this...

I think when I grow up and quit following the circus, I want to be the person who comes up with the words they used on the CAPTCHA on Ticketmaster. Seriously. Where do they come up with this shit?

Ol yeasty
Vietnamese ducky
Ju hooke

And so many, many more.

There are times that irrational desire borders on insanity. I assume, simply given the meaning of the words, that there always exists a very fine line between the two.

I had a glimmering opportunity for a face-value U2 Rose Bowl GA ticket a few days ago and I passed. I was logical and I told myself that after Phoenix, I would be ready to go home. That this leg would be done for me and I'd be fine with that.

After Norman, something was pushing me. It didn't feel irrational at all. In fact it just felt entirely RIGHT that I should have this burning desire to go to Vancouver. Vancouver over LA? I don't know, but I went with it. I tossed it out there...

Hey, is anyone we know doing Vancouver?

I didn't expect much, just a shake of heads, perhaps an I think so-and-so, you know the one? is going. That is not what I got. An actual friend, someone who I really genuinely enjoy spending time with and always get a good vibe from piped up and offered an almost sheepish...

I'm going.

And then there was an added, very quiet invitation, or an opening at least, to join in. All I had to do was get a ticket and make air arrangements and I was good to go.

Surely, it was madness and I wasn't thinking straight. Look where post-Chicago2 ecstasy had landed me... Norman, OK... on my way to Phoenix, AZ. Yet, in the Oklahoma City airport, when I was texting another friend that I thought I'd go to Vancouver, I looked up and saw a man wearing a bold 'Canada' sweatshirt. I can't make this shit up. To me it was a sign.

Once I got to the desert and saw more friends, I was still adamant that I was NOT going to Vegas [and I am not in Vegas] and I was NOT going to LA. I was however in the market for a Vancouver ticket. I clung to the belief that in spite of the fact that I found out the band are filming in LA, I was okay with not being there. It was going to be a fucking mad-house and while I'd never turn down a U2 concert given reasonable circumstances, this was something for some reason I'd been shying away from. Call it instinct. I was reassured by many that a Vancouver ticket wouldn't be an issue if I really wanted to go. So, I beamed through Phoenix [as intense as that show was] and knew it wasn't my last.

When I was gathering things to pack up, at far too late/early in the night/morning, and trying to sort out bills at the end, I simply got a wave and a quiet offer that we could settle up in Canada. This cemented the idea that I was going... to Vancouver. JUST Vancouver, mind, and not so much as a second thought to the other shows.

But when I came back here, home only minutes, I had a text that there was an LA GA out there, and appetite was once more whetted. I think it fell through, never heard back about it and now here I sit with less than twelve hours before I'd have to fly. American Airlines requires a purchase with frequent flier miles [of which I have enough thanks to this tour for a one way] at least two hours... only two hours?... before departure. I also have on the horizon the possibility of a 'reasonably' priced GA once again floating in front of me... like a fucking steak to one of Pavlov's dogs.

I've been back and forth on this for two days. Part of me says to jump on that plane at 9am and just go for it. Follow the music with my hair on fire or at least a fire in my soul. A friend whispered ... these are the memories of your life... and he's the one who'd have to take over and watch the house and the four-legs for five nights. Profound wisdom when he could've just said he could only spare two nights with the dogs, cat and rabbit... fair enough after just spending four here last week... And that leads me to the other part of me, the one who put laundry in just a few minutes ago, because it's a 'task' that could help settle my nerves, a part that's now sat here typing away and watching the puppies play while the older girls snuggle in around their mam, so happy to have home and heart together again. That part says... go to Canada. Relax for the weekend, stay home, watch the one concert that'll be broadcast in its entirety on 'the Utube' and available on dvd later... Be content with that and finish out in Canada, relieved of stress, with a happy, orderly home to return to once it's done... done for a while, anyway.

So where the hell do I go from here?
[other than rehab!]

Is there anyone around these parts who might have a link to an LA/Rose Bowl GA for Sunday?

ANYONE????

I realise it's a long shot, but figured it's always worth a try.
Thanks and love to all.

How is it that tomorrow I'll be embarking on the final pieces of my 360 adventure? Norman, OK and Phoenix, AZ here I come. I feel like I'm not even past 180 degrees at this point and it's coming to a close? Someone tell me how the fuck that happened?

And c/o several people...

You are The Empress
Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.
The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.
The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

So, does that mean I get a bump to first class?